In Michael Kimmel’s piece “Bros Before Hos”: The Guy Code he
thoroughly explained what being a man in society is these days. More
specifically, what the answer to the question “what is a man?” is and how they
are made. The Guy Code as they call it is made up of things guys do, should or
shouldn`t do, think, act, and say. After asking countless of teenagers in their
late teens and early 20`s what it means to be a man they would respond with: “Boys
don`t cry, don`t get mad – get even, just do it, nice guys finish last and the
typical “I don`t stop to ask for directions.” To be a man he says, is to be
tough, don`t show compassion, don`t cry (notice how this is repeated), and not
to weaker than any other male. But what happens to those who do show emotion?
They get put down, called names and become the black sheep within the herd of
those are the way they are supposed to be.
If you
show any emotion or interest in something that others find inadequate to their
liking you could automatically be considered not man enough and be called gay,
a faggot, pussy, wimp, etc. Other guys aren`t the only ones to put a specific
one down because of expressing how they are in the way they dress, act and come
off to be. It could be the slightest of sway in your hips as you walk and you
could be called gay for walking that way, you could be the sweet, kind, caring,
sensitive but in the eyes of other men you aren`t being manly. I agree with
Kimmel when he points out how this starts. It begins at a young age where dads,
uncles, grandpas or strangers tell you to “man up”, “don`t cry”, and be tough.
As a child grows up and parents pester or get pestered about their kids being
wimps, bullied, it always seems to be the father figure to tell their kids and raise
them to be tough. Keep them away from their mothers nurturing, sweetness and
love. To be a man in society I agree with these set up on how a male should be.
It has been this way for a long time in which a man has to dominant, but
personally I believe to be a man is to give it all in anything yet be respectful.
In other words, it is to have that gentleman’s aura surrounding you.
To know
when to be tough and show your sweet side, gentleness, compassion towards
something or someone is what I consider a man. To stand tall with both feet firmly
planted on the ground and keeping your chin up is overall what I see a man to
be. This is coming from a guy who hasn`t really had a father figure growing up though, as well being a
really carefree person and that gets easily amused by the most random of things.
In the end, growing up and seeing all of these guys being the way The Guy Code
explains, I have yet to understand what the need for it is. I don`t fully
comprehend the need to put down someone or each other, in a joking manner yes
but not when one is out their seriously putting a person down I find it to be
utterly unnecessary.